I see the specialist today. After the last few days, I’m terrified that it may be too late. Not for me. I will go on and get better. But have my behaviors and words destroyed my family? I don’t have the strength to say, Has my disease destroyed my family? I’m tired of blaming things. I’m tired of being out of emotional control. I’m tired of constantly being afraid and not being able to show anyone.
I wish I could convince my SO to read An Open Letter to “Non BPDs” from those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder or even read Stop Walking on Eggshells (just one of the jems that hit home with me in that book: Borderlines tend to see the world in black and white. And they tend to assume everyone else sees things the same way.). But he has too much on his plate right now. Time for me to put on my big girl pants and figure this out.
functionalbpd 